12 Things To Do In 2012

Hello everybody. Wow it is that time of year again where I will write my To-Do list for the following day/year.

Now the general consensus for New Years Resolutions are to eat healthier (don't forget to cut out the booze), exercise more, and be a better person. To me these are a given so I don't even need to add them to my list. I should know them off by heart by now, at almost twenty-eight years old, and to live them every single day and to set a good example for my son.

I'd like to keep to a similar pattern to last year though I haven't set the bar as high. Due to the personal upheaval of the past nine months I didn't complete the entire list and I regret not doing so. I hope to achieve next years resolutions, which I've purposefully made a bit more fun and obtainable. I still have one or two places free and I was hoping that you, dear readers and friends, may help me come up with those.

12 Things To Do In 2012

1. Finish writing Novel (then send off to 12 agents/publishers).

2.Write 12 book reviews and blog them.

3.Write at least 212 blog posts (not including the book reviews).

4.Get Youngling into a good bedtime routine (which will help with speech etc).

5.Be a better Christian (read the Erasmus course book - and ask to give a reading at Church).

6. Be more charitable (help Dad at the Mind Charity Workshops).

7. Go to the Theatre and/or a concert at least once.

8.Take Youngling somewhere new on holiday (at least once UK or otherwise).

9. Spend less and save more (save up for a car or something for Youngling).

10. Spend more time with friends and family (maybe even help some achieve their dreams).

11.

12.

That's all I have thus far. I will be replacing the list from last year in a few days when I am back from visiting family in Wales so get your thinking caps on.

I do love receiving your feedback so please feel welcome to leave me a comment here on MakeshiftMummy or add me on Twitter at: @makeshiftmummy

Enjoy your celebrations and please stay safe.

Take care and here's to a very happy and healthy 2012.

Lots of love

Kate

xx

My 2011 meme

It's almost time everyone, to sing Auld Lang Syne and cry into a glass (bottle) of champagne. As I have done in the past I am using an old meme to sum up my year of 2011.

I found this meme over at fellow bloggers site back in 2009: Hip As I Wanna Be - I really enjoyed reading it and it spurred me to write my own, once I had asked permission of course. ;-)

So here I reflect on a year that's passed.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you have never done before?
I went swimming on October 1st in The Blue Lagoon quarry which was scary yet liberating at the same time.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions from 2010, and will you make more for next year?
I will definitely be making more resolutions for 2012 - am an avid To-Do-List writer. I started off so well with my resolutions from 2010/11 however I didn't manage to keep them all after Doo and I separated. I am very disappointed in myself for that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My best friend gave birth to her second son who is absolutely gorgeous and looks so much like his pops its astonishing. Am very proud of you hun for getting the natural birth you so longed for.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
On Doo's side of the family yes. It was a very hard time for all, especially since we had separated and I wasn't invited to the funeral. Very sad state of affairs. Also on my mums side we had a sudden death which strangely resolved a family issue (for the better believe it or not). And an old teacher from my Junior school who was very inspirational and well respected in our community lost his battle with Cancer. May they all rest in peace.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. This is on my resolution list for next year.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Routine, routine and more routine. I was so undisciplined it was unreal and has totally come back to bite me in the bum. I now have my son sleeping with me as he is terrified I'll leave him.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 19th for that's when Doo officially moved out. Everything else is a bit of a blur.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I had a few smaller achievements such as passing my London School Of Journalism course (despite all the personal dramas). Giving Youngling a wonderful second birthday party, continuing to run my tots group - Wiggle Tots. And generally just surviving from say-to-day.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being strong enough to be a perfect mother and partner. But I think I am working hard to get there. And what is perfection anyways? - this answer was from 2009 and still rings true today.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have had a continuous cold on and off - nothing unusual there. Still suffering from adult acne - sexy hey?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new bed with matching desk for my bedroom, my very own Christmas Tree and decorations and new camera.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Youngling for practically potty training himself. I am so very proud and have the picture proof to embarrass him when he's eighteen.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own and Doo's. I'm appalled that I was borderline depressed (all because of a man), but proud that I snapped out of it. Even though my temper and patience, with regards to Youngling, still needs work. I am disgusted at Doo's behaviour towards myself and Youngling and I will never ever forget it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
New bed, desk, DVD players, Christmas Tree, food, clothes for Youngling etc.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got me back. after so long worrying about what others thought and felt towards me. I got me back. So many old friends have come back into my life now and have said the same. they can see and hear the difference. I will never lose myself again. Perhaps its because I've found my faith again? Who knows, I'm just really happy about it.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
Birdy - Skinny Love

Florence And The Machine - song from the adverts.

Christina Perry - Jar of Hearts

U2

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

I am definitely Happier in some ways but sad that my family has ended and I couldnt fix it though I tried for a few years (you just have to read my meme from 2009 to know that).
I am definitely Fatter - still say its the baby weight (not the packets of Pringles I consume or take aways I order lol).
I'm better off financially but that's due to help from the government. I am saving as much as I can so I can send Youngling to University etc.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Written more, exercise/walks outside. Seen more of the family.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Shouting at Youngling. Just because he looks like his Daddy Doo doesn't mean he is him. I will ensure that he keeps some of his fathers traits but I will also ensure I teach him as much as I can about the opportunities this world can offer and what he can offer the world.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At my house with Youngling, my mum (nanna Barbar) and dad (Bampa), my brother (uncle Des) and sister-in-law (auntie Kung). Oh and the two cats.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
As corny as it sounds yes I did - with myself. I hated myself for so much of 2011 but now I am happy just being me.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Miranda on BBC One. Flipping hilarious and that's probably because I see a lot of myself in her.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No I don't think I could hate anyone. Despite everything I don't even hate Doo, only when he makes me cry on my doorstep but the moment passes when I hold my son.

24. What was the best book you read?
Lessons in Laughing Out Loud my Rowan Coleman and Home For Christmas by Cally Taylor.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My love for musicals in general - went to see Wicked in the West End (amazing).

26. What did you want and get?
Anything I needed, when I needed it. Even if that was a night out, a theatre visit, a concert to see Take That - (fabulous is an understatement).

27. What did you want and not get?
To be discovered for my writing.
A netbook.
To go on holiday somewhere hot.

TV for my bedroom.

New clock for the living room.
Oh and to win the lottery of course - who doesn't?

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Little Women - cant believe I'd never seen it before. Now want to read the book.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
For my 27th birthday I went for a Chinese lunch with my parents and my sis-in-law. I was a little sad since Doo and I had just separated and his sis-in-law gave me a DVD box set which I knew was from him. It was all very complicated and upsetting at the time.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
To fix Doo. To go on holiday and to have a nice big working car. But realistically I feel satisfied with lots of the little things. I feel like I have found my love for life again. I don't feel quite so oppressed.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Up and down. But then that goes with my weight I suppose. I am trying to adopt Carry's style confidence from Sex and The City. Love those films and series.

32. What kept you sane?
Coffee, wine, and Youngling - pretty much the same as in 2009.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

The Edge from U2. hubba da hubba.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The politics in my Church and then my personal life. I couldn't even touch on the news for it baffles me so much we would need an age to discuss it all.

35. Who did you miss?
My family and friends who I haven't seen for a long while and also miss the husband figure in my life. Whether that be Doo or not, just the family element which I feel has been lacking. It was lacking when we lived together too.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Old friends and new. Don't recall meeting anyone famous in 2011.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
That only we can make ourselves happy and it is our reaction to someone's action that is key. We are solely responsible for our reactions and actions. We cannot blame anyone else for them or their indiscretions etc.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
When she was just a girl

she expected the world

But it flew away from her reach so

she ran away in her sleep

and dreamed of

Para-para paradise, Para-para paradise

everytime she closed her eyes. - Coldplay

So there you have it. That's my old-new meme for 2011. If I haven't bored you enough already, I will be posting my new years resolutions list on the right hand side. So you can all check I'm doing them and whip me into shape if I start slacking.

Happy New Year to you and yours.
Lot's of Love for 2012.

Kate and Youngling
xx

Wordless Wednesday

Boxing Day 2011

Well I can hardly move today after yesterday's feast. I had to get up though and straighten the place up for I was having a few friends over today. It has been like Picadilly station what with people coming and going lately. I'm not complaining mind for I have been grateful for the company. The only time I have felt lonely was late last night after everyone had left. I thought to myself how it would be nice to share this special day with someone and snuggle up and recall the day's events. I felt sad when I thought I didn't have anyone to snuggle up with until I realised I do, I have Youngling.

I had great fun catching up with old friends and their Younglings today. Even ma and pa came to the park with us all and we were the only two families outside. It wasn't a particularly nice day - weather wise - but its tradition to go out for a walk or to play on Boxing Day.

I thought I'd share some more pictures with you (you can tell its the festive season as I've had my camera out so much).

So there you go, just a few snap shots into our Boxing Day. Mum and dad spent the evening with us and helped us eat some more of the Turkey. I am hoping to make a nice curry with the left overs. I am really enjoying spending so much time with mum and dad. I even had a nice cuddle with mum on the sofa which I haven't done since I was little.

Soon it will be New Year and another year has flown by. I am dubious about what the New Year will bring after Youngling and I have had a difficult time this year. But I am looking forward to making our own dreams come true and being free to do so.

I will be back soon to post my meme of 2011 and my '12 Things To Do In 2012' Have you made your resolutions yet?

Take care

Kate

xx

It's Christmas

Happy Christmas 2011

Yay it's Christmas. I have been preparing for this day for a few weeks after months of fretting over it for the simple fact that it is our first Christmas without Daddy Doo. My first Christmas as a single mother.

I needn't have worried one iota for everything went even better than planned.

My mum and dad, brother and sister-in-law were to join Youngling and I for Christmas dinner which I had timed to be served around two-ish. Everything was prepared and ready to be cooked around one (bearing in mind I woke at seven to put the Turkey in the oven - overslept and put it in around eight).

Youngling woke up while I was downstairs preparing everything (I had laid the table with place mats and decorations after the night before's debacles). He called down to me so as I started up the stairs I said "has Santa been to see you? Did he leave you any presents?". I was really building the excitement when Youngling simply replied "yeah, yeah, mummy".

After crawling into bed with Youngling and opening all of his stocking presents we got ourselves up and came downstairs. His face lit up when he saw the tree and table and smelt the Turkey (which I was extremely lucky to fit into the oven for it was an extra large bird to feed twenty people). I had to teach him to wait until everyone arrived so they could see him open the presents. Well he did ever so well considering my parents were an hour and a half late.

Despite their bad timings the dinner was lovely, a real treat with three starters, three meats and tons of veg. It was probably one of the best Christmas dinners I've ever tasted - even if I do say so myself. I don't know what all the fuss is about really. I would be happy to cook it every year. My favourite part of the meal was my Brussels and Bacon (with onion and chestnuts) mix. Yum.

We all enjoyed talking and sharing gifts with one another and were all spoilt with our presents. It was by far one of the best Christmas Day's I have ever spent with the family and even though Daddy Doo didn't make it round (though invited) or call to speak to his son, Youngling had the best fun ever. He was mid sentence when he fell asleep around four and everyone chipped in to help tidy up and play games after our feast.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Day 2011.

Peace and Love to you this Christmas

Take care

Kate

xx

Christmas Eve 2011

I have been like an over excited child waiting for this day to come. Finally it is here. I was more excited than Youngling.

I had helped Santa get everything ready for Younglings stocking almost a week ago and I couldn't wait to see the look on his little face when he opened it in bed.

Youngling stayed with Dadddy Doo last night but came back this afternoon so we could go to the Crib service at our Church. I had invited Doo and his entire family to at least come to this service with Youngling since none of them could make it to Christmas Day Dinner at my house.

I had been publicised the service on Twitter and Facebook as I hoped there would be a bigger turn out than at the Christingle Service. Luckily one of my closest friends and her two children were free and asked to come along, which I jumped at the chance.

I'm sure Doo had given Youngling a lot of chocolate of something as he was so hyper and enthusiastic my Vicar didn't really know what to say or do. Again we were ushered to sit at the very front as we were impeccably early. At one point the Vicar said "there's some lovely singing going on down the front here" - most embarrassing. I didn't sing the descant to all the carols this time since I am usually the only one who does.

It was nice that Youngling was so interested in seeing the crib being made up and watching the power point story as it encouraged a lot of other children to come down to the front and join in too. However I'm sure how much God would like to have seen a small Smurf toy resting on top of baby Jesus.

After the service I went home and finished tidying up when Boog and my friends popped in for a surprise visit so I treated everyone to a beautiful Chinese take away dinner as a Christmas treat.

Well it was a waste of time tidying up beforehand because it was such a mess after the men had demolished the food and managed to splatter noodles< rice and sauce all over my clean table cloth. True to form I put a load of washing on when they had left and laid the table for the morning. I even remembered to put out some fruit for the Reindeer and milk for Santa - Mummy doesn't share her sherry with anyone.

Hope you had a nice Christmas Eve?

Happy Christmas everybody.

Take care

Kate

xx

Wordless Wednesday

Great grotto visit

This year understandably I wasnt invited to review a grotto. I loved our visit to Santas Magical Kingdom last year.

Instead Boog and I took Youngling to the local grotto and he thoruoghly enjoyed himself. I thought I would share some pictures with you so you can share the experience.

Hope you liked it as much as we did?

Take care

Kate

xx

Wiggle Tots Christmas Party

It is the end of an era not just the end of a year. I have decided to take a break from running my tots group what with all things concidered in my personal life and what not.


With that in mind I wanted to make sure we went out with a bang and that we did.


I invited all Wiggle Tots members, old and new, to join in the festive party with a visit from Santa and a present for every child. Even the additional older children received a present. I laid on a full spread and really wanted to fill everyone with Christmas Spirit.


I felt this party went smoother than the Halloween party and was so chuffed to see so many little Wigglers enjoying themselves. Even though I'd booked the hall for an extra hour I cant believe how quickly the time went by.


I dressed up as 'Mummy Christmas' and Youngling dressed up as a Pumpkin. I think he thinks thats what he should wear to every party since hes worn it to several fancy dress parties before.

Youngling had taken the picture of me dressed up as 'Mummy Christmas' isnt he good with the camera? He's definitely taken after me in the creative area.

Youngling helped me decorate the house for Christmas and has been enjoying playing the the shakers and found his old pair of Reindeer antlers in his dressing up box. Why he didnt want to wear these to the party I'll never know. He wouldnt take them off at home apart from when he put them on my head whilst watching a film.

When I went into the kitchen to prepare dinner it took me about twenty five minuets to realise what the jingle-jangle noise was and where it was coming from. Only to realise it was the antlers Youngling had placed on my head about an hour before. Silly Mummy.

My mum and a friend from the group wilol be running a similar group (possibly going to be called Muddle-Tots) from January 2012. I wish them the very best of luck and I will hopefully be back when I feel rested and re-energised.

What's the silliest thing you've ever misplaced?

Take care

Kate

xx

Tears at breakfast

I knew it was all too good to be true.

After seeing Doo yesterday I knew that something bad was bound to happen. I was right. When he came to pick Youngling up this morning he appeared to be in a bad mood and was a bit snappy. I try my best now to make every conversation all about Youngling and to keep the tone of my voice level or upbeat as Youngling is so perceptive at two and a half years old.

Well it appeared Doo had other ideas today.

He wasn't saying anything particularly nasty, other than he thinks I'm taking his son away from him on Christmas day and why should he change his plans to make up the time he will miss with his son as he feels he sees him plenty as it is. It was the way that he was saying it and nothing could be further from the truth.

I could understand why he got angry and said that he never wanted to talk to me again and if it wasn't for Youngling he'd be happy never to see me again. What got to me was when I said "I knew you'd say something today after seeing Boog and I in town yesterday" he replied by saying that he doesn't have a problem with Boog and that he's always talking to him etc.

Well blow me down with a feather.

When we found Doo after went missing and was in an bloody awful state (physically and mentally) a few weeks back (long story), he shouted at me saying "why Boog? anyone else but him Kate". So if that's not a contradiction I do not know what is.

I know it is still raw and painful for all involved, mainly Youngling who is of course the main factor in this equation. But I cannot cope with the split personality mood swings. There Ive admitted my weakness. I just don't know what else to do anymore. I have been nothing but fair. I haven't stopped Doo from seeing his child, when I offer extra days and times he says he has plans. When I beg for help for need to sort things financially or physically at my home he refuses. What more can I do? and when will all of this stop?

Dont get me wrong I'm not intentionally bad mouthing Doo but I need to vent somewhere to someone. I cannot keep it to myself anymore and that is unhealthy for me and for Youngling.

I was so upset when Boog rang that he booked a taxi and instructed I get in regardless of the fact that I was still in my pj's. I did as I was told and had thrown a few bits in a bag to freshen up at his place. He had sensed how upset I was and had run me a bath with candles and afterwards had taken me out for a hot chocolate. I was so grateful and felt awful when I cam over all faint and nauseous in town. We put it down to the stress of the morning and the dread of how Doo would be to me on Youngling's return that afternoon.

Speaking of which an old school friend came round in the afternoon and was very supportive. I thoroughly enjoyed our festive catch up and listening to her wedding plans. I hope we can do it more often in the new year and hope to end up in a loving and long term relationship like she has.

I must remain strong and I do forgive Doo as he forgave me years ago when I was in a similar position (depression). But I hope I don't have another morning like that for a very long while.

Take care
Kate
xx

Christingle at Church

What a strange day I've had. Firstly I had to ask ma and pa to look after Youngling while Boog helped me get the last bits for the Wiggle Tots party on Tues. When in town who did we happen to bump into? Yep you've guessed it, Doo. I felt so awkward and felt as though I had just been caught cheating on him. Which clearly I wasn't. Time could not have gone any slower as we passed each other on the open square.

Doo was pleasant enough and said hello but I could not shift the feeling of anxiety and sadness that came over me. Especially when I went to Church later in the afternoon for the Christingle service when Boog called me to say he'd just seen Doo walking in the direction of my Church. He said that Doo had acknowledged him and said hello again. I explained Doo was probably walking towards his home, which is incidentally only a five minuet walk from our old house (which as you know I still live in).

I am really glad everyone involved is being polite to each other and what not but why does it still make me feel so sad? It has been nine months already and I am having so much fun with Boog.

Youngling, mother and I were one of the first people at our Church and were encouraged to sit at the very front. This is what you get for being on time for a change. Usually we creep in at the back since Youngling tends to take an age to get ready for important occasions, such as going to Church.

It was a very quiet service, one of the quietest Id seen in all my twenty seven years of going to St. Thomas'. Nonetheless it was lovely all the same. Even if Youngling was restless and louder than I would have liked.

I have been rather overwhelmed at Church lately and have found it even more welcoming than usual. I cant explain why but I have felt warmth and comfort from the building, and people. It feels like family. Yet when I am there I still feel I need to be a better Christian, a better person in general, but especially a better mother. Perhaps all mothers go through stages of feeling inadequate or like the mother next to them is perfect and they are not. That is how I feel regarding Youngling, though I am trying every day to change that and make sure I am giving him the best upbringing I can.

We can but try.

Take care

Kate

xx

Wordless Wednesday

Early Christmas present - to myself

Do you ever get days where you want to do something creative and yet you just don't know what to do? I do, especially when I have had a long night with Youngling. Don't even get be started on that right now.


Recently I was 'window-net-shopping' on Amazon and came across The pocket Muse books by Monica Wood. I had a look through some of the pages and quite liked it so thought since its the seasons of gifts and what not I thought why treat myself. So I did.


I was super excited to get the book however I hadn't anticipated just how long it would take to arrive. Everyday I was calling to the postman to see if he had a package for me. After almost five weeks it arrived yay.






I haven't started any of the exercises in the book yet but I have really enjoyed thumbing through its inspirational pages. I will be posting lots of the work I do in the new year. So when you see a post title with 'Exercise #' you'll know where it comes from.

Whats the most inspirational book you've ever read?

What's the best present you've ever treated yourself to?

Take care
Kate
xx

It wasn't me!

While I was giving Youngling a quick shower, (hosing him down more like after he had a messy accident - potty training is such fun) our new feline friend, Charlie-Cat, ran riot downstairs.

I could hear him jumping and running about (I've caught him climbing the walls before now - literally). I came downstairs to find this face looking up at me:

What you don't see in the picture is the remainder of the toilet roll (which hadn't been opened prior to his massacre) and the state of the living room which resembled a cheap production of a Christmas play.

A fresh and clean smelling Youngling simply looked at the chaos, jumped onto the sofa and said 'Oh Larley'.

Out of the mouths of babes.

I couldn't bring myself to punish the little moggy for he is such a gorgeous puss-cat.

What's the craziest thing your monster moggy or pet has done?

Take care

Kate

xx

The trouble with co-habiting is...

...You never get a full nights sleep. Having a toddler in your bed is like sleeping with a kangaroo kicking and punching you throughout the night.

...You go prematurely bald from the constant hair tugging and twiddling from Youngling who is terrified to be alone and needs to feel comforted. No fake hair doesn't work. I've tried everything.

...You become a grumpy parent the next day, unusually snapping at the insignificant things that do not require such an outburst. Its rather embarrassing and not great parenting, however you tend to get a few sympathetic looks from like minded mothers. But then you get the scowls and grimaces from the 'Mary Poppins' mothers of the world.

...You tend to miss all the good TV later on in the evening. 'Get a TV in the bedroom?' Yes I would like one, but surely that would send Youngling into even worse habits by learning to fall asleep with background noise? 'Just think of all the reading you can do'. It would be so much easier to read with both arms free from cuddling said Youngling.

...You cant really have anyone to stay over for several reasons, a) you get into your PJ's stupidly early b) you tend to go to bed hours earlier than everyone else as have lost the will to live by 7pm let alone converse with another human being, c) having a male companion is out of the question for three in the bed would certainly get a bit cramped.

However there are good sides to co-habiting....

...You will always have someone to keep you warm at night.

...You will always have someone to squeeze you tight.

...You will always have someone to say it's going to be alright.

...You will always have someone next to you in the morning light.

Take care,

Kate

xx

Money's no object.

Today I saw how some fortunate people in this world view money as no object. I was in town with Boog, while Youngling was at school, and went shopping after eating literally all I could eat at the Chinese buffet. Yum.

Having purchased the essentials, a new book for Boog, a set of screwdrivers (again for Boog), a designer watch (yup youve guessed it again for Boog), we headed towards the final shop where I had hoped to buy some PVA glue. Call me mad but I have taken it upon myself, with a little 'help' from Youngling, to make our own Christmas cards this year. I hadn't anticipated how much glue would be needed for the operation in hand and ran out after only completing five 3D tree cards.

So we are walking through the precinct when Boog stops dead in the middle of the walk way, turns and heads back to look in a window without so much as 'one minuet' in my direction. Luckily I am used to this sort of random turn of events since it is usually me doing the quick spin around, so I followed suit.

Turns out there was an offer on the ipad2 from Orange and Boog fancied a bit of that.

Already being a very valued customer it was a rather quick and simple signature here and there and bish, bash, bosh he is now the proud new owner of said droid. Is it right to call it a droid? Well anyway the machine is beautiful, light and very impressive. I immediately wanted to have a little play with the new toy but had to get home to see my boy.

What gets me, and its no secret from Boog, is how he can just go out and buy so many lavish items in one hit. Granted he works hard for his money, ok so he works for his money, which is the way it should be. And that he also said these were Christmas presents to himself which in all honesty I have been doing throughout the year (albeit on a much smaller scale of course).

It got me thinking to the state of the finances and unemployment in the country. There was a debate about it on TV this morning and an interesting lady called in. She said how she had recently become a single mum and had consequently had to go onto government benefits in order to survive. This story was not too dissimilar to my own. However I was stunned to hear how her old work colleagues, who were married with children with great jobs, big house, two cars etc. disapproved of their friend being on benefits.

Now other than Doo I haven't had anyone say anything directly to me of a disapproving manner regarding my living and financial situation. I have always worked for my money and I, like Boog, have lived on the money I have earned. But when did we get into such a crisis of the separation of the classes? And why isn't anyone doing anything to help?

I really felt for this woman and I hope no one thinks that of me. I am at least trying to save a little every month for Youngling. I do not want him to feel the pressure of wanting nice things without being able to buy them. Or to struggle to pay for the roof over his head.

Take care

Kate

xx

Star in the making

Youngling had his very first stage appearance yesterday at his pre-school Christmas concert. I was so nervous for him and the rest of his classmates as it must be a very daunting experience for them.

All week long Youngling had been singing songs that I could only make out a few of what they were. He was brimming with excitement though I'm not entirely sure he fully understood what was happening.

The day before the big show my mum (his Nanna Barbar) and I took Youngling shopping to get a few supplies and it struck me I hadn't got his costume ready. Thank goodness for convenience stores nowadays with ready made elf outfits and the like. I asked Youngling which costume he would like (all choices from the 50% off section of course) and he chose the most appropriate outfit ever.

As some of you know Youngling is called Joseph and he chose to be a Shepherd for the concert. I was so proud and although I had to sit next to Daddy Doo, who kept trying to make small talk (despite shouting at me the day before and saying that we don't have that sort of relationship anymore where we can make chit-chat). It all went very well.

Youngling was waving his handmade pompom in time with the music and managed to follow some of the actions and sing some of the songs - despite spending a lot of the time turning around and chatting to a friendly girl.

It was such a shame that when we went into town afterwards, to get the bits of shopping i forgot to buy the day before, he had the mammouth of all tantrums. I had to literally drag him from one end of the shopping square past all the shops, coffee shops and restaurants to the other end of town where we had parked. So embarrassing. Especially when Youngling kept shouting 'No, Mummy, No'.

I stuck to my guns and followed trough with the naughty step regime and when we got home I attacked the hoovering like never before. Eventually after lots of tears and screaming (from both of us) Youngling said 'rorry mummy' of his own accord. We hugged and then ate some raisins. Such a simple life we lead.

Although I find it a struggle to discipline Youngling, more so now that I am a single mother, I just have to look at him up on that stage and my heart swells with pride.

What do you do to deter a tantrum or discipline your Younglings?

Take care

Kate

xx

Jack and His GIANT Stalk!

This weekend I was invited to a Christmas Pantomime to celebrate my friends 21st Birthday. At first I was really excited as I thought this was an unusual yet fun way to celebrate a birthday. However as the day drew nearer I inherited a cough and a cold and felt terrible. I became dubious about the day as I feared I may have to run out half way through the performance during a coughing fit or worse to throw up (sorry if too much information).

Boog was also invited as he is a mutual friend also. We got ready in less than ten minuets and drove the birthday girl (who looked stunning in a little Green number), her boyfriend and colleague to the next town. I was totally covered up with scarf, hat and a bag as big as my house - typical mummy style. Disgusted at the bar prices, and the fears mentioned above, I took a pint of water into the cosy auditorium and waited with baited breath.

It was hilarious. A real riot.

I have never laughed so much at sexual innuendos and blatant slapstick comedy before. The actors switched from character in the fastest costume changes I've ever witnessed. Their take on accents was questionable but this only added to the humour. Not to mention the precarious interchangeable set which had to be held by the actors during moments of the one act panto.

There was a particularly crude and laugh out loud reference to a childrens TV character which I had to be ssh'd for laughing so loudly at. I was oblivious to my cold though my flu like symptoms didn't stop me almost passing out again from overheating (the polite way for saying sweating like a pig).

Watching the cast of three perform on the small stage made me reminisce once again about my time at university. I was again inspired to put my Drama Degree to use and am enquiring about part time positions at local theatres. I will never stop writing though and am lucky to have such supportive friends, especially those within the industry.

Picture courtesy of: http://www.markettheatre.co.uk/whatson.htm

If you could play any pantomime character which would it be?

Take care and 'watch out - hes behind you' :-)
Kate
xx

I have a confession...

...it is eight months since Doo and I parted and I have to introduce you to my new friend. I suppose you may call him a boyfriend, though there are sixteen years difference between us.

Boog is my ex partner (we are talking 6 odd years ago before Doo and I fell in Love). We had a tumultous relationship and I take my 50% of responsibility as it takes two to tango after all. I was a lot younger back then and I have learnt so much over the years. A lot of which I owe to Doo for I always called him (and always will) my Knight In Shining Blue. It was Doo who literally (and metaphorically) saved my life. For that I will always be truly thankful. However he cannot hold that against me for the rest of my life, otherwise we will have no future, as friends (or otherwise).

Boog has run a successful company with his business partner, and close friend, for seventeen years now. He is out going and the life and soul of a party, though even he will admit sometimes he can do that too often. I was dubious getting back in contact with him after so many years crossing the street to avoid him, and after our relationship ended so badly. In fact it was Boog who got back in contact with me.

It was a complete surprise and utterly romantic, something that had been missing from my life for quite a while. It was as though he had read my mind. The thing with Boog is that we are on the same page on a lot of things. For example, we both support and encourage each others ideas and dreams no matter how outrageous or out of reach they may be. He can go from spending £1000 on a lavish weekend of champagne with the finest food and entertainment, to spending £10 on a traditional dinner, a bottle of wine and watching the good old British soaps on TV after enjoying a long walk or swim in the local lagoon.

I will never close the book on Doo, and no one will ever replace him as Younglings father. But until he accepts me for who I am, and for his part in the breakdown of our relationship, we can but share niceties on the exchange of Youngling. Id rather that than constant arguing any day.

I do not expect anyone to understand how I can be with someone else so soon after recent events with Doo, I do not understand it myself some days. But I do know this, Boog makes me smile and laugh so hard that I get cramp in my side. He knows to give me a cuddle without any prompting from me when I drift off with my thoughts. I know that I can never intentionally go out and meet someone knew and have to explain my past, my current situation, Youngling and hopes for the future. To me that is impossible. I just know that when Boog and I spend a few days together (when Youngling is staying with Daddy Doo) I never know what will happen or what we'll do. We always seem to have an adventure in one way shape or form.

Me and Boog at the big turn on.

So there you have it, now everyone knows. You can think what you like but at least I have been honest. I cannot change myself for anyone any more. you only need to read my latest posts to see that I am getting back to myself by going to the theatre, reading and writing again to see that.

I wish Doo every health and happiness and who knows what the future brings for all of us. I cannot hide myself and my life from everyone anymore. I was brought up with lies and I refuse to to let history repeat itself.

So there you have it. The truth is unraveled.

Do take care,
Kate
xx