Learning To Let Go

I have been thinking back to a comment a family member made to me over the festive period. "you care too much about what other people think Kate!"

At the time I heartedly disagreed as this comment was made with reference to Youngling in particular his speech and needing speech therapy. Now as you know dear readers that I do not like the whole 'my child did this before your child did' competition that coincides with the motherhood. I actually pride myself on not falling into that trap, what with having quite an addictive/paranoid personality. (self diagnoses by the way).

So why did this flippant remark from someone who doesn't have any children bother me so much?

When I was looking at my '12 Things To Do In 2012' list I got excited by the little tasks I had set myself this year. (yes I still have a couple to add - all in due course my friends). But when I took my pen to paper (as is easier with a toddler running around) I found myself worrying too much about what people may think about reading my work. I worried how it would sound.

So why cant I let go? if I knew how to just let go and write freely I think I would relax a lot more and the prospects are endless. So how do I let go?

In reality I swear a lot yet I don't like to write my blasphemy down on paper for fear of offending someone. This is a positive and negative. The positive is I am aware that my actions and reactions have an affect on others around me. This is good. I am also aware that stopping swearing so much out loud is something I need to work on. However if I am not being true to myself then how will you, dear readers, enjoy what I write?

After almost five years of feeling stifled and silenced, in more ways than one, I am learning to let go and focus on myself and Youngling more than what other people may think about us.

Now I have come this far into this post I feel that niggling sensation at the back of my brain saying "Kate you are over analysing things yet again and why should you care about a comment from someone who clearly does not know well enough otherwise they wouldn't have said it in the first place!".

I am glad however that I am not alone. I was reading my friend @HonestMummy 's blog post here about losing the fear of writing (amongst other things) and it really gave me some comfort and a drive to do just that. Lose the fear. Don't worry what other people think. Just write.

I ask you then my friends, how do you fully let go and just be yourself? Do you ever get lost? How then do you re-find yourself?

Take Care from a very puzzled

Kate

xx