Snip So Simple.

Hormonal just isn't the word. I have been a blubbering wreck this week and I can only put it down to my monthly 'visit', which can be a right pain in your whatsit let me tell you. But seriously I have been stifling back tears not only when saying goodbye to good friends, but also when watching 'Don't Tell The Bride' to a snippet of 'One Born Every Minuet' to 'Bridget Jones' Diary'. So it wont come as much of a shock to tell you all that I cried myself to sleep last night when Boog had gone home after telling me he has decided to get the 'snip'.

Yep you heard me right. Boog has said he doesn't want anymore children. But I suddenly realised then that if we are to have any sort of future that would leave me without any options of having another baby.

It has taken me months to finally feel comfortable being with someone again, someone that isn't Younglings Daddy, Doo. I had begun to get my head around the fact that if I were to give Youngling a brother or sister that that sibling wouldn't necessarily be 100% blood related (which I had major reservations about what with my past experience of finding out my brother had a different father to me etc).

I have believed so strongly about wanting more children and only having one father for them all that I asked Doo just after we separated if we could try again for another baby. But rightly so he said we couldn't have another baby if we weren't going to get back together and try again.

You can understand why I naturally felt a little overwhelmed by this statement.

Matters were made worse when a 'friend' had text me in the middle of my finding out and had asked why I sounded upset. After a brief description I was told 'Well, what do you expect? A man of his age can never love again the way he has before'. To add insult to injury it was suggested that if Boog and I had children in a year or two that he would be well past the sell by date so what's the point? It's no wonder he doesn't want anymore children.

Charming!

So where do I go from here? I do not want to end things with Boog for he is making me happier now than I have been in months. But what happens when I reach the inevitable cross roads of wanting to get pregnant again and have that second child I've always dreamed of?

Have you or anyone you know been in a situation like this before? what did you or they do? What would you do if you had the choice?

Take care

Kate

xx