Motherly Advice

Recently my friend told me that her son has the Chicken Pox - bless him. He is Younglings friend, well birth brother in fact - for they were born hours apart after being in hospital together for monitoring. His mother and I went to anti natal classes together too which made our bond even more special.

My first thought on hearing that Younglings birth brother had the Pox was dread for when Youngling would catch it. My son has mild eczema but it doesn't half cause his pale and precious skin to flare up from time to time. I then thought maybe it is better to get it out of the way now while he is young (and I can strap his hands in socks) rather than wait until he is older.

I tweeted about taking Youngling to his birth brothers house to 'catch the chicken' but couldn't help but feel like a cruel mother if I did so. I don't tend to ask a lot of advice re: Youngling, on Twitter or Facebook. Unless its something quite important where I am open to opinion. I have asked how to nip fussy eating in the butt, and found the responses quite interesting.

Lately I have seen an influx of mothers asking for help, advice and general panic on Twitter and Facebook in particular. It astonishes me for some of these mothers already have older children. But how do we know when to trust our own instincts more than listening to others? How to we as parents know right from wrong regarding our children? Could it be we are worried of making the same mistakes with our second or third or forth born than we did with their predecessors?

There is an old school friend who has grown increasingly irritating with her 'advice seeking' on Facebook. It has become ridiculous and frankly appears to be more for attention than anything else. She already has an older child and asks hypothetical questions re: illnesses, food, sleeping habits. In particular she asked about the use of a dummy and giving a hungry baby water when she was literally suckled to bleeding point. Clearly she has a hungry baby who either needs a fuller milk or a soother other than her breast. She was asking for advice and everyone gave similar responses (dummy or try formula or bottle fed water etc). But this woman was so adamant not to do those things - why ask in the first place?

I just don't get it.

I do not claim to have all the answers, far from it in fact. But I am all for asking for help when it is actually needed (like after 3 days when Youngling wouldn't eat the meals I'd given him so I didn't make him anything else and wanted to nip his fussiness pronto). But if you aren't going to be open to advice what the heck is the point of asking (day and night I tell you) and asking for advice on things that aren't actually happening?

I learnt very early on that I will be an open-to-advice mother but I will ultimately do what I think/feel is right for my Youngling. Not just because a book, health visitor or friend says it is better or not. I did not keep spreadsheets of every time Youngling drank, toileted, and slept. Instead I enjoyed watching him sleep (when he did). I was, and still am, fascinated to tears that this little person whom I helped grow inside of me is seeing, hearing and learning things for the very first time and I am still nurturing this precious person to grow as big and as strong as can be.

So what do you all think: do most of us seek motherly advice or are we simply attention seeking? What did/do you ask advice on most? What was your best answer?

Take care

Kate

xx