I don't want to hurt you...

..I don't think I have a choice.

The date is set and I am lost for words. I will probably make no sense in what I am about to say and some of you probably wont understand where I am coming from. That is fine just know I am sad. I am sorry. I feel as though I am about to commit murder.

Even as I write this tears burn my cheeks for I know it may be the right thing to do but I cannot help loath myself from guilt.

I am about to lose my best friend.

My confident.

The only one to stick by me through thick and thin and listen to my heart and soul.

He has been in my life for almost twenty one years and I have been advised to say my goodbyes for next Wednesday at two o'clock he is due to die.

I remember feeling so grown up when I first met him at my brothers friends house. It was the summer of my eighth year though it felt like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one. We had been allowed to get a cat and I chose him.

Tango - I can barely write his name without stifling a cry - is a ginger tom who was almost called Fruitbat had my brother got his way. I have never seen such compassion in an animal as I have seen with him. Even when I tied a scarf to him so I could take him for a walk. Even though he didn't like that much he still crept up to my room when my parents were asleep and scratched on my door.

We never did get a video of him scratching at the fridge to send to You've Been Framed. It wouldn't have been for the money either. We just wanted to share his loveliness with the world.

Everyone loved Tang-a-lang even those who were scared of cats found that he was so gentle and almost human like that they would let him sit on their lap within a few hours of being at the house.

I wish you could live for ever my ginger-ninger. I wish you would survive surgery so we could help make you better. I wish I didn't have to say goodbye to you. I wish I didn't have to tell Youngling that you will be going to heaven.

I am sorry.

I love you lots my feline friend.
I will never forget you.

Love
Kate
xx